She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
