Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
