No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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