White coat. Heels.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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