There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Acid is not a monday night drug
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
