Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I skipped work to stalk him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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