I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
