ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
