Pappa wants mamma naked
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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