Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he thought i was a dude.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
