sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
