No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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