I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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