They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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