my sisters under your porch take her home
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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