Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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