Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
