dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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