She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
