my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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