Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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