Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
