Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
