At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
