I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ugly people sure do ruin things
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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