the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
