I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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