Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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