Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
