my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
