Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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