i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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