I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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