It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
