I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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