Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
