Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
