You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
