"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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