Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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