Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
