Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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