Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Too much gin, very little bucket
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Randomize
