i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
