seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
