i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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