we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
