bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
