just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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