OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
