youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
